I went to church today at my home church. I had forgotten what it was like to walk into a place of God and fell truly welcomed and loved.
We arrived 10 minutes before service started and were late to sitting down because we were too busy saying hellos to all of the people in the lobby. The service began as normal and the sermon started. It was titled, "Being Alone on Christmas" and was all about feeling alone (which you probably could have inferred). Pastor Bruce went on to talk about the importance of the church family. He described how we need to come together to support each other and love them no matter what they are going through. The words were hitting a place so close to home. I have not felt a part of a faith family since I left home. I have not felt welcomed or loved by my faith community at school. This has made me feel distance from God because I've never had to go in it alone. My church at home is all the things I was craving at school; a fun, caring, supportive, loving environment to grow in faith. You have questions/doubts/worries? Good, lets talk about them. Let's work them out together.
After the service was over, it took us 25 minutes to leave. So many people were coming over to me to welcome me home for the holidays. It made me feel so incredibly loved and happy to be there. I cannot wait to go back next week. I haven't been excited about attending a religious function in months.
So I can't say I'm healed. I can't say all my doubts from earlier are gone. I am still in the worst spot spiritually I have ever been but it is a step in the right direction.
Thank you OUMC. Thank you for giving me the spark I needed to try and figure things out.
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