Mandala

Josie and I started watching Orange is the New Black together. I had heard great things about it but never sat down to watch it. I am surprised at how quickly I was hooked on the show. It was hard to follow at first with cut backs and different plot lines but it was extremely gripping. It might be weird to find something impactful in a show about lesbians and prison but one piece of dialogue really stood out to me.

A hippie inmate is helping the newbie adjust to prison life and she starts telling her about mandalas. The Tibetan monks make then out of dark sand laid out into big beautiful designs. And when they're done, after days or weeks of work, they wipe it all away. She goes on to tell her to try to look at your experience in prison as a mandala. Work hard to make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can. And when you’re done, pack it in and know it was all temporary.

 

I like this analogy a lot because it is something I easily lose sight of. I think it can be applied to so many situations in life. There are countless events that we may not be looking forward to doing but we have to do anyway. On the other hand, there might be events that we are looking forward to but we know it will come to an end. So many things in life are only temporary. In some cases, this is such a blessing, like if you have to work or in detention but other times it’s a curse, like the weekend or a vacation you’ve been looking forward to.

Just because these things are temporary doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t take full advantage of them. There are an abundance of experiences to be had in any given situation. It is silly to let them go to waste because you know it will be over soon. In the end, yes it has to come to an end but isn’t that true about everything in life?   In a broader sense, each individual life is temporary. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth living. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do everything you can to make it as meaningful as you can. Every moment is a beautiful gift and they shouldn’t be tossed to the curb. Nothing is frivolous, every act counts, everything matters.

Maybe I’m taking this quote from a show about prisons and lesbians a little too seriously. Maybe I’m stretching what is even supposed to mean but it reminded me of something that’s been on my heart and mind a lot lately.

I’m in a relationship with a guy who lives half way around the world. I am in a relationship that has to end. It’s only temporary. Why even try? What’s the point of getting attached to something that is leaving me? But then again, what’s the point spending weeks making a beautiful intricate piece of art in the sand an erasing it? Just because it will be gone in a few months doesn't mean we can’t make it beautiful before it’s over. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy, he makes me feel pretty, he makes me feel special. After feeling emotionally numb for months, he makes me feel alive again. And yeah, it will probably hurt like hell having to say good bye but I am not convinced that that’s a good enough reason to not be with him. I would rather cherish the time I have with him now and hurt later than not enjoy this happiness. In a weird way, it reminds me of Hazel Grace and Augustus from The Fault in Our Stars. Minus the cancer and death and what not.

I guess what am trying to say is that all things are temporary. That doesn't mean they can’t be meaningful and beautiful.

My relationship is temporary. That doesn't mean it can’t be meaningful and beautiful. I just need to take advantage of every second I am blessed with being together and deal with the rest later.